Babies

So my friend Nikki had a baby recently. It was completely unplanned. She just went to the hospital and came back with a baby girl.

I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

In high school, I would have the kids. Liz would be the doctor and have a stay at home husband with one kid. Nikki would be the crazy cat lady all alone reading her books. She never wanted a kid. Needless to say, life did not turn out this way. Liz is in medical school, like she should be. Nikki went to law school.

This was my first flabbergast moment. Nikki and law? It is supposed to be Nikki and English, not law. Nikki is a law student in the city and she absolutely hates it like I knew she would. I see her point about getting a doctorate and being a professor, law is just not the way I would have gone about it. I would have gone about it the way I'm currently going, in graduate school for English.

Now Nikki has a baby. It is quite odd. She pokes her little "demon spawn" in the nose in a way that someone who wanted to be a mother never would. Megan is more doll than actual child. Sometimes I don't believe she is real, I wonder if Nikki feels this way? Is it all a dream? I'm completely disregulated by it. Nikki is just holding on by strings. I feel horrible for her, she is basically alone with no help (I mean mentally). She can't quit law school, she won't even take a semester off. I just want her to make it, much more than I want myself to make it through grad school. She has worked hard to get to law school, I've been a slacker. She deserves this much more than I do.

In the meantime I'll probably end up buying or knitting Megan way too many things, clothes, toys and whatnots. I'll help in whatever way I can even though I'm 23 and have no real job. We have to stick together, we are only children. In the end, if the situation were reversed, I'm sure Nikki would take care of me too.