Well That Was a Waste of Time

So I got to meet Slipknot members today. Woo hoo...it was enjoyable and all, just stuff happened that made me upset.

I will preface this with the fact that I used to cry a lot, especially in high school. I cried in front of almost every teacher and then some. I tried not to do this in college and I'm really trying not to do it at the radio station. I strive to keep my cool as often as possible.

So today Corey and Shawn come up. I'm slightly disappointed that Joey didn't come up, but that's more than ok. It was a great interview, Greg handled it well. Corey was hyper and it was hilarious. I'm glad I got to see him. It was more what happened as they left and what not.

About two weeks ago, I asked Greg to go to the show with me. I hate going to shows alone much less arenas, but that's a different matter He said he didn't know if he had tickets so I waited because I too didn't have tickets. I assumed we would go to Camden together on Saturday. As the band is leaving, Wally asks Greg to go with him and Greg says yes. I just stare in disbelief, perhaps I made the assumption that I was going with Greg, I still have no idea. Greg just assumes I have tickets. When we go listen to the IDs, Greg never put my name on the list. Well two blows to me causes tears to well into my eyes.

If there wasn't a room full of people, I would have slammed Greg into a wall. Well actually I did slam Greg into a wall. But I wanted to yell and cry and just let it all out. As I write this it seems to be coming all out.

Steve told me last week that Greg and people I think are friends really don't give a shit about me. I try to think that Steve isn't right, mainly because I always try to prove that Steve isn't right. Somehow this whole incident with Greg makes me think that Steve is right, that Greg doesn't care about me. I really don't want to believe this, really I don't.

I confronted Greg and yet I don't fell better. I should have cried. I should have yelled. He said he will try to get me tickets. My options stand as either going to MSG tomorrow night alone or going to Camden Saturday with Jackie. I don't like either option.

I know this seems like a giant whine, but it does mean something to me. Music, for better or worse, is my life.