Everyone Knows Someone

So more Children of Bodom this weekend. Usually this enough for a whole workings of a post, but it wasn't this weekend. Yes, talking with Henkka was golden, it always is. The guy is super sweet. He is probably the only person I will ever talk to about soccer EVER. Cindy touched Henkka's fly which was pure hilarity, but even bringing them a cake and going backstage the next night was nothing compared to the weekend in total.

I found myself. Granted I found myself and then proceeded to crumble into a thousand shards, I found myself at the bottom. Where have I been hiding all this time? I crawl into these bubbles, my therapist and I nicknamed them apathy bubbles. I just settle. I don't strive, I just sink to where I think its ok for me to be. It is very much not ok. Though I love Dark Tranquillity's song Lost to Apathy, it is not a way to live.

I LOVE music. It is a huge part of my being. I love going to shows. I like meeting people and being social. I am a social being. Just talking to music industry people all weekend was fascinating. I met two people that made impacts, though one knows it and not the other. I forgot the joy of talking to new people, to be that brave. It takes a lot for me to talk to strangers, but I'm so glad I did.

As much as I failed in some aspects this weekend with getting work done and what not, I accomplished so much more. For months I felt lost, but I'm here. Covered in mess, but I'm alive. Thank you for the people I went with and to whomever controls fate or destiny, thank you for everything else. Now I'm going to stop being cryptic and finally sleep.